Gisela “Doris” Roizen

Gisela-hsGone 11 years ago, today.

And my sorrow for her continues in a palpable, if attenuated, way — although it’s taken a different shape more recently.

In my still relatively new experience with a more solitary life — since Maggie’s passing — I think about Mom a lot.

She quite simply was not the kind of person who should have been obliged, by circumstance, to live alone.

Heidi, for many years, did the best she could to give Mom a family life — and even a work life. I remember at one point she had business cards printed up for Mom with the title “Mother of the President.”

My own humble existence — buoyed up as it is by the internet, by various historical and work-related pursuits, by family, friends, and neighbors, and even by little Meistie’s semi-friendly relationship with me — seems a far cry from the isolation I know she felt. Even language posed, I came to learn, a considerable barrier for her.  She didn’t understand more words than most of us in the family ever realized.

A truth — an unfortunate truth I will be buried with one day — is that if I had it to do over again, I’d have given her more of my time.

The moral of this anniversary reflection, then, is simply this:  If you have a mother or father, or another loved one, who is struggling with the isolation of advancing age and lessening agency, then do more for that person now, while it’s still possible to make a difference.

Trite and syrupy advice, I know.  But — in my case, at least — a hard-won lesson.

Sorry, Mom!




Heidi, Mom, me, Peter, and Millie — c. 1963

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Gisela “Doris” Roizen

  1. margo139 says:

    There are many people and time we are compelled to balance in life and we know you did what you could to provide a comfortable time for your mom. Not many spend the time you did reading and giving of your time to her. I think you all did what was possible and tolerable. We very much enjoyed our encounters as she positively loved Ivan. Ha!
    She was a pleasure to be with on our short encounters & we were pleased to be included on those occasions. We all wish we could do more for those we love and will keep your advice as best we. can. We could do everything and still feel guilty as that is our nature but I am sure as we ourselves age we would not impose our needs upon our children anymore than necessary. Just saying. m

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s